TheManOfFewWords-

Nevertheless, I didn’t want to quit, I wanted to get fired. You see, working without a care in the world of getting fired gives you an unmatched sense of freedom. So I had a lot of fun. When customers ordered a meal I thought was unhealthy I would tell them so and try and change their minds. I would demand that pregnant women not order drinks with caffeine and every once in a while my complete and utter disregard for the job would manifest in mind-blowing incompetence.

For example, one time I went to get two spatulas for a party of six for the pizza they ordered. I plopped the spatulas down on the table, said, “Enjoy your food” and left them flabbergasted. I had completely forgotten to bring the food!

Yet another time, after my table had been eating for quite a while I asked them if they needed refills. They told me I had not yet brought their drinks in the first place.

Needless to say I would relate these stories later, laughing heartily while I did so. My manager was not pleased since I would narrate them to him as well in all their raw hilarity. Whenever he complained I would simply tell him that I thought he was a good person and a good manager and that if he fired me I wouldn’t take it personally in the least. As a matter of fact, I would say, firing me would actually be the right thing to do.